every time Ashraf talks to me, i cry for at least 10 minutes.
i respect his opinion so much.
he is everything i am not.
how dare i foolishly forget that he is a better and kinder person than i will ever be.

why is life so unfair, to give me second chances i dont deserve and invariably squander.
why does god still love me, when i live in sin?
why was i born so weak?

even if i dont deserve happiness, why am i forced to see myself make others unhappy day after day?

how is it possible that i am a fuck up,
yet have never done drugs and have drank only three sips while out to eat with my parents?

im a unique case, a "loser fuck up."