i write so that i remember.

ACTIVATING EVENT and CONSEQUENCE
when i see a man more attractive than me, i feel sad.

IRRATIONAL BELIEFS:
- i must be the most attractive man in the world
- if i am not the most attractive man, it is unbearably awful
- if i am not the most attractive man, i will not be able to attract the most attractive men, and that would be unbearably awful
- i must attract the most attractive man
- i must eventually marry a most attractive man
- a man more attractive than me cannot love me as much as i love them (which is not necessarily true), and it would be awful if i marry a man who does not love me as much as i love them (which is not true), and it would be awful if i do not marry a man that is more attractive than all others
- i am my attractiveness
- if a man tells me that they are not attracted to me, then that is awful and i cannot bear it

RATIONAL BELIEFS:
- you are more beautiful than i, therefore your attractiveness exceed mine, but i am not my attractiveness

- i would prefer to marry a very attractive man who loves me as much as i love them, but it would not be awful if i do not marry such a man

- if i give myself permission to create a sense of self and down it on account of looks, then i will be less likely to marry a very attractive man
- if i refuse to down myself, then i will be more likely to marry a very attractive man

- if a man tells me that they are not attracted to me, then that is disappointing, but not awful and unbearable, in fact i have born it and am bearing it right now
- if i approach a man, there is a chance he will tell me that he is not attracted to me, and that would be disappointing, but not unbearable, and i would rather approach a man and have a chance of such disappointment, then not approach a man and have a certainty of disappointment.
- approaching a man and refusing to put myself down will only increase my chances of perceiving his lack of attraction: it will increase my chances of attracting him.